My Solo Glow-Up Era: From Heartbreak to Healing & Becoming That Girl
MOTIVATION
Life’s been lifing… but I’m learning to glow through it.
Lately I've been feeling like there's more. More in my career, more in experiences, more relationships, more in LIFE! I have been working in the corporate world for a little over two years now and I'm quickly realizing, this is NOT for me.
I'm sure no one wants to get up and work for someone else, but most people never truly care enough to change it, but me, I'm going to grow. And not just for aesthetics — I’m talking real, internal, soul-deep growth. I am so much more than a worker for someone else's dream. Its time to make my dreams come true. But first I need to do the necessary inner work before I can really start to see the dream reveal itself.
Why I’m focusing on me first - In Sep of 2023 I went through a breakup from a 5 year relationship. At the beginning of the relationship it was great, my man, my man. But toward the middle of 2023 (around my birthday ) things started to fall apart. He never cheated... that I know of... but he started treating me differently. I started to look at myself differently because this man no longer liked me. I went MONTHS of up and down emotions, barely able to eat, then develop a smoking addiction. I told myself from then on I will not allow someone's feelings about me to shift the way I feel about myself. I had to re-shift my focus from those around me that wanted something; to focus on myself. How can you pour into people from an empty cup?!?
Making sure you're okay first is not selfish, it is vital in protecting your peace and energy. I started focusing on myself because when I went through that breakup I had the realization that no one really cared about my personal shit, most people can barely handle their own shit. You can't rely on anyone to drag you to the finish line, its up to you to get up and run across.
Small Romantic habits that make me feel like HER
I kept praying and asking God to give me strength to overcome this pain, and GOD answers prayers. One day I woke up and realized that my worth was not rooting in what one MAN felt about me, but my worth is imbedded in God who loves me unconditionally. He slowly started revealing habits to implement to feel empowered and at PEACE.
Hot Girl walks - every weekend, if I'm not too busy, I go to a new trail or park and walk for at least 30min. I enjoy nature, there's something about being outside amongst things so vast and small that all rely on the same source.
Being outside in nature makes me feel like I am one with the simple things and the complex things. Being outside can also offer a change in perspective. Going on a hike along tall trees that have birds, leaves, and insects all over it; providing something for each while benefiting from their presence. It makes me feel apart of something bigger, like my problems are so small in comparison.
Gratitude Journal - When I went through that breakup I started to look for ways to heal. I wanted to shift my mindset to abundance and positivity. I started journaling three things everyday that I was grateful for. No matter how small I felt it was. I found that forcing your brain to think about the positive things going on in our lives; pushes us out of the negative or limiting mindset. One tip that really helped me was recording the entry. So instead of writing down the three things, I would set up my phone camera then press record. I loved doing this because I am able to see the state I was in when I said them.
This was important in my glow up because like I mentioned before, my emotions were everywhere. A lot of the times I needed to think of something positive was in the middle of a cry. So I have scrolled across videos of me crying and saying the things I'm grateful for then I'm able to put a smile on to walk into work.
Skill Developing - Since I had so much time on my hands, everyone on the internet says to start learning a new skill. I thought this is a smart way to keep my mind preoccupied and not think about the heavy things going on in my life. I also thought it would be a good idea to level up my financials, if I picked the right skill. One of the skills I started to learn is Spanish. I took Spanish for 3 years in high school but never got good enough to speak it conversationally. I work with mainly Spanish speakers so I thought this would be the best move, it also helps that you can get paid a few dollars extra if you are bilingual ;)
Another skill I am learning is digital marketing, I love the idea of having an online presence. But the main reason I'm learning this skill is to build a community of like minded people and encourage them, this is the reason I started the blog. To help young women, or older, who are struggling with the in-between phases in life. I prayed for God to reveal to me a way to build community while increasing my finances. And the Lord said to lean into UGC creator. I have been researching all things UGC and getting some inspiration
(stay tuned to see the growth and get first hand experience with tips/tricks)
SELF CARE DAYS - Now this makes me feel like THAT GIRL. I use to go the inexpensive option when it came to skin care and/or hair care products. I thought they were all the same, until I said what the hell, and bought the high end skincare. I mean the highest end you can find at TJ Maxx. But I fully enjoyed having the day to myself, freshly showered, warm robe, face mask, wine. I'm in heaven!!
Every since I started taking at least two Sunday's a month for my selfcare days, I've found it helpful in getting relaxed and your mind ready for the upcoming week. Or even to decompress from the busy week that I've had.
Its really important to take time for yourself, really spend time caring for your body and loving on it. I truly believe that self care is self love, because you only get one body, Take care of it.
What I'm still working on
There are still a lot of area I want to improve in this growth journey. I want to show myself love so I don't settle for the bare minimum anymore. I'm so over being okay with "its the thought that counts" or " at least I thought about you". In this journey you will see me buying myself flowers, taking myself out to cute date, trying new things. The women in my mind doesn't accept bare minimums. she only wants romance and nothing else. She deserves it and so do you!
So if you’re reading this and you’re in your own “in between” season—trust me, it gets better when you start choosing you. I’m not fully “there” yet, but every walk, prayer, journal entry, and skincare ritual is getting me closer to the woman I know I’m meant to be.
This blog is just the beginning, and I’m excited to share what I learn as I grow. So here’s to solo glow-ups, soft Sundays, and never settling again.
Weekly Challenge:
So each week I have been giving myself a challenge to really see the improvements and put the work into my growth era. I asked Chat GPT to give me a challenge that will improve my self love in my solo era. What it gave me was PERFECT!
This week, I challenge myself to take one moment every day to honor my solo glow-up journey. Whether it’s carving out time for a mindful morning routine, treating myself to a nourishing face mask, or journaling about how far I’ve come — I’ll prioritize self-reflection and small moments of self-love. Let’s see how this practice shifts my mindset and helps me glow more authentically.
Here are a few of the ways I honored my journey; morning prayer. driving in silence to hear what's being pushed to the front of my brain, WALKS. Buying me a coffee cup I've been wanting for work. (LOL). Breath work. Lite a candle while doing skincare.
